dirty words

Man! Wtf, reality, HARSHING MY AWESOME GLEEE OF FANDOM FRIEND LOVE.

Two unfortunate things have just hit the fan:

1) My sister is moving out of state to live with her boyfriend. I knew this was the eventual plan, but I just found out now that it's happening when our lease is up at the end of next month. This means I will be homeless and jobless by the middle of December. On top of being sisterless. Wicked sarcastic awesome.

2) At least four of our rats have taken a rather severe turn for the worse. This means the incredibly disturbing thing of me creating a CO2 delivery system to put them to sleep humanely (or, in the less euphemistic way of putting it, having an assembly line of me killing my pets by gas chamber). Sister will be in Seattle (we were going to do it together, but I don't think it's humane to wait until Monday), so I'm trying to decide if it's best to do it alone or with my boyfriend. For the record, I have two reasons for doing this at home. First of all -- I can't afford to spend hundreds of dollars right now. Secondly, I have learned Very Disturbing Things from the internets about how rodents are put down by vets and that it's less humane than one would hope (and, according to fairly reputable sources, less humane than a home-built gas chamber, because at least this way you anaesthetize them first).

This has triggered my whatever mode, though. It is what it is. Keep your head down, don't get excited, will your way through. ;) In therapy, I'm supposed to be working on de-numbing myself, being less strictly disciplined with myself, etc, but perhaps that can wait until I have strictly disciplined my way through this. (My therapist also says I could do with a little less forceful independence, though, so perhaps she would prefer I call my parents and sound the SOS of Potential Impending Starvation Of Your Offspring.)

R.I.P. America, age almost-two.

I thought he broke his neck in a fall because he couldn't stand up, I freaked out, called a bunch of vets, took him to the animal hospital. Apparently it wasn't a fall, but a brain tumor. He was put down within 20 minutes. Poor little sweetie was so scared. :(

For those who thought this might be some kind of political statement, he wasn't named for any patriotic reasons, actually. "America" was a character (a horse personified by my sister Gira) in a play-pretend game we made up as kids. It wasn't patriotic then, either, we just really liked the word.

My gosh, I still have 21 rats, all except two the same age of Impending Rat Illness And Doom. How am I going to do this 21 more times? (Not to mention - how will I afford to?)

Also, Tessie bolted out the front door today and ran off. I found her after I heard all these cars and a bus honking at her, and had to chase her down. We live on a busy street. She didn't even seem scared, just obstinate and kept trotting away from me. (Which is weird for her. At our old house, she'd bolt through the door, notice we weren't coming along, and just turn around before she finished going down the stairs. But she has been an epic pain in the ass the past week or so, so maybe she's having some sort of bratty doggie teenagerhood.) Seriously, not doing so well on the pet front today.

When I feel like this, all heart-crushed, I think it's really hard to have pets. I think I shouldn't, sometimes, and envy people who can live without them -- but yeah. I need little furry things to love. And I do love them. And that's the problem, sometimes.

I am losing the war against the onslaught of rat illness. :( ( warning: graphic, but if you ignore the text, there are non-graphic past rat pictures )

Because everything in my life likes to happen all at once, too, I signed a lease this morning to move to the other side of town, much closer to work. The apartment needs some TLC, but once it has been worked on a bit, we'll move in.

It's official guys: I'm in Doggie Swoon.

It was a few weeks in coming, because it was more important to keep the dog from spontaneously bleeding to death than to fall in love with her, but now I have successfully done both.

SO. CUTE.

I think there are Doggie Things To Discuss and Opinions Of Yours That I Wish To Solicit, but I'm really tired, so instead, picspam!

( spam comma pic! )

Sister and I might adopt 2 more rats today.

Wait, wait, I know what you're thinking. "Won't that be 29 rats!? Are you absolutely nutcakes?"

I've got two arguments for you:

ONE.

TWO.

(And yes, we're absolutely nutcakes. We have rats in every room of the house. These little ratlets will need to go through decon be quarrantined in the bathroom.)

We haven't placed them on hold, because the universe might want to save us from ourselves... but if those little cutepies are still available at the humane society after work today, they will be joining the Geek!Rat commune.

They are two boys, currently named "Seamus" and "Neville." Those names are considerably awesome, but anyone have any better (read: geekier eta: Star Trekkier) suggestions?

Edit: Sanity has overtaken us temporarily. We will actually just go home and play with the 27 rats we already have, despite my desire to play with omgbabyrats! If they haven't been adopted by Thursday, we'll consider it a sign from the universe that they need to join the geek!rat commune.

THIS MORNING?? I RIPPED OPEN ONE OF MY TOOTH HOLES FROM THE WISDOM TEETH OF DOOM. EATING CORN POPS.

I AM FULL OF ALL-CAPPED RAGE.

Yeah, the day pretty much went downhill from there. I was trying to be positive! But cars were CHASING ME in crosswalks! And then mean people mocked me OUT LOUD on the street! And I totally tweaked out at work because of the INSANE STRESS of my brain being made of crazy! And did I mention the part where THE WISDOM TEETH OF DOOM THAT WERE KIND OF HEALED IS NOW A GAPING WOUND AGAIN!? From CORN POPS!?

OH DUDE.

Things That Are Awesome:

1) calleigh_j WROTE JAKE 2.0 FIC! OMFG. Aaaaaa I am full of SQUEEE.

2) TEMPTATION ISLAND, with mystic_isles000, who is hilarious. Totally Closeted Boy (Named Kaya!) on the show: "And then I was thinking about my girlfriend doing something wild with ANOTHER GUY-" Gira: "And that made me want to do something wild with another guy!" We've been watching too much Playing It Straight.

3) CORN POPS OF DOOM. Aughhhh! They are so TASTY. And yet LETHAL.

4) I have a plan to combat depression with girl-powered Zen! It is a Good Plan!

5) ... MY RATS ARE CUTE!

( Old pictures, but PROOF OF THE CUTE! )

And on the Eighth Day, The Lord said, "Go thee unto Costco, for there are batteries there, and rechargeable batteries, and also muffins, and those batteries they are in AA and AAA; and partake of them, for yea, the drought has passed, and sorrow shall be no more."

( Baby Rat Diary: They Have Fur Now, I Promise )

[Poll #807357]

And on Day Four, Mysterious Baby #13 grows even more mysterious, my camera begins mysteriously draining batteries at an alarming rate, and some other things happen that are considerably less mysterious! Actually, the camera thing is probably due to the totally non-mysterious reason of a bad batch of dollar-store batteries. But we've got one bona fide mystery!

( Rat Baby Diary )

[Poll #795918]

In today's episode of the Little Red Rat Diary, Lela has her litter, sex determination is attempted, and we thwart our on-set ASPCA regulator to find fun games that can be played with day-old rat kittens!

( Be Warned For Many Pictures Of Squirmy Pink Things! )

[Poll #791923]