dirty words

Hello lovely online peeps! I have missed you! daisycm83 made threats of creating Have You Seen Little Red? milk cartons if I did not haul my ass back to the internet, so here I am! :)

(daisycm83 is WONDERFUL, by the way. Actually, she's exactly as wonderful as she is online, only she's three-dimensional and gives hugs! I'm convinced that if me, aj and Christi all got together somewhere, seismic detectors in the area would register the sudden increase in hand-flailing gleee.)

( So here's what's up in MY LIFE: )

Since I have no fic to share, have a picture of Tessie wanting to play!

( Pik! )

Totally Non-Spoilery X-Files-Related Gleee! Click here for a totally moronic article about how David And Gillian Are Real Actors Really, but you must watch the javascript video midway down the page where they interview each other about whether or not they like each other. LOL.

Hrm. My sister's boyfriend just drank a whole bottle of wine and isn't wearing any pants, and he's about to meet her parents for the first time. This makes me LOL quite a bit.

It also makes me feel a little neurotic for stressing out so much about how the floor hasn't been steam-cleaned when the parents are required to love me. And even if I don't keep a disinfected house, I'm totally wearing pants!

That's not even the strangest thing I saw today, either. I went out to my interview with the peeps what work with hydraulics today, right? Their plant is in the industrial wasteland strip mall between Northwest Portland and Jantzen Beach, which is a lot farther than I thought it was. On the way, I passed Portland's Premier Self-Service Auto Wrecking.

!?

You can wreck your own autos? Without supervision? More importantly -- if this is the premier Self-Service Auto Wrecking facility in Portland, does this mean there are perhaps others, and that this might be a booming Portland industry of which I was previously unaware?

I am such a little stressball right now I feel sort of incapable of actually doing anything on my pressing immediate to-do list, and have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. My newest source of stress is the realization that once I manage to find another job, I will actually have to learn another job. Holy crap. Wah. I sort of feel like I need a beach vacation to recover from the job hunt instead of, you know, starting another job. ;)

This entry did not to a whole lot to put things in perspective for me. Perhaps, for that, I will need to get drunk and take off pants?

We had our exit strategy meeting with the Vice President of our division yesterday. It was sort of like getting hit in the face with a shovel.

30 days is the absolute best I can hope for, though after talking to the RSM it might turn back into two weeks' notice from yesterday. And, of course, no bonus or severance or anything.

The agents get to stay on until at least February and will get closeout bonuses since they are more specialler than me. The VP bought us happy hour drinks (I swear, I'm never looking at happy hour the same way again) and I sort of threw a little fit about how somebody better be giving me a goddamned Starbucks card. I think I also requested a balloon.

So I've been looking at jobs, and most of the available ones (December = not the best time for this, omg!) will actually pay me less than I'd get on unemployment, so here's a question: Are there crazy hidden reasons for not filing for unemployment? Will I be blackballed from working for the government in the future or something? Do I have to pay it all back someday? PLEASE ADVISE. OVER.

ALL IN ALL: WAAAAAAAH.

The VP said that he really thinks I should go to law school next. (I know... ??) My coworker L is still insistent that I should totally do freelance copy writing, and she used to be a freelance graphic designer and so has all sorts of tips and strategeries and stuff to help. That sounds like a whole lot of fun. It would be like being a starving artist, but a corporate starving artist! I could do that, build a resale real estate business, sell crafty things online, pose for artists, write trashy romance novels and wash neighbors' cars kids & dogs and NOT STARVE, WOO! *hangs head* (I like the idea of being able to write off the new computer I need...)

Your ideeers, please!

I got valentines roses in the mail... from John Sheppard!!!

OMG. That makes a long day in a teeny tiny windowless file room SO MUCH BETTER! OMG YAY!!! HEEE.

EEEE!! *looks around flist* Which of you totally rocks my world right now? I have many guesses, because my flist is AWESOME, and awesome to me even though I am so internetly truant lately!!

(Have temp job. Am filing in very small windowless room all day. Believe I might be part of an experiment of some kind.)

(Also was recruited today by Ameriprise. I feel very special for having been recruited for something, though I somehow suspect it will all end up being a pyramid scheme somehow.)

OMG! WHICH OF YOU IS MY SEKRIT SANTA CUPID-LIKE PERSON!? I must know now!

(p.s. errr... how do they decide which icons to leave you with when your userpics run out? Because it's totally an awesome random sampling! LJ is all-knowing. And omg, please do not take this as me begging for icon-time gifts or anything. I was just surprised, and am now in awe of LJ-magic.)

OMG FLOWERS! Thankyouthankyouthankyou. :) *dances wif gleee*

And of course, happy valentine's/Hallmark Poets Anonymous day. :)

As I type, w0lfstar is staging an intervention against the partnership of transgendered mouse slash that is mouse!Shep and mouse!Ronon. We are putting them in separate cages in order to starve them of mousey attention and make them give up the gay and turn to Jesus miss Lizzie and Teyla LOVE US.

We are putting a grocery store Jesus candle near the cages, though, just in case that'll help. If this isn't responsible pet ownership, I don't know what is.

In other responsible pet ownership news, I am acquiring RATS tomorrow! It's an adoption off of craigslist. Two boys, just a few months old, one with long hair and one with long curly hair, two varieties of rat that I didn't even know existed. Name suggestions welcome. The current front-runner is "Miles & Julian" (in the future, we may acquire girl rats from a cool breeder near us, and they will be named Keiko and Choose-Your-Own-Dax).

No, we're not considering becoming rodent breeders in the future. Not at all. Er. Oh, shut up, you KNOW you want adorable pet rats bred and socialized by Trekkies. They'd sit up on their hind paws whenever you said "Engage."

In job search news, I have answered an ad searching for a "borderline OCD Girl Friday." The only thing that could make it a more obvious job for me is if they said something like "working knowledge of Microsoft Word and Star Trek required." Not only that, but it's a construction company, which yields a high probability of shirtless men wandering in and out of the office. Either way, it beats w0lfstar and mystic_isles000's suggestion that I get a landline for Fort Awesome and become a phone sex operator. "You can work from home! It'll be perfect! You can just put a sign on the door so we know not to bug you while you're working!" IT HURTS ME.