WELP.

Jun. 12th, 2025 02:31 pm
aj: (void)
[personal profile] aj
Turns out that the ~new release~ from TCW is a greatest hits album. I am deeply unsurprised. I did listen to the previews and IDK? I am pretty sure there have been minor adjustments made the instrumentation for a couple tracks. There was definitely some evidence of reverb or echo-ing in a couple, but as I didn't listen to the full track I'm not sure.

Mind, I am someone who could likely clock it as *waves at 5gb of live and previously released music that I have listened to 75% of barring a few full concert recordings*.

Also, I just spent $500 in the last two days and am leery to spend another $10. BUT. My AC works and my shoulders are sore but mostly unjacked. My massage therapist told me it's the most she's had to put back into place on me at any one time. I am dubious only because there was that one time where she unfucked my neck so much I felt drunk for an hour afterwards. Apparently full blood flow after mildly pinching an artery for ~2 months has a soporific effect? The things you learn!

Lastly, my continued love affair with Chicago pizza puffs continues apace. Is it the vaguely Totino's pizza roll flavor profile? The chewiness of the burrito tortilla? Or how out of the 4 I have eaten in my life, every single one has burned my mouth? IDK, but I'll definitely order one again! Gotta drive this craving into the floor so I'll never want another.

Haze of days.

Jun. 11th, 2025 10:17 am
aj: (caffeine)
[personal profile] aj
Picked the car up last night and \o/ WORKING AC! Also, I'm apparently super sensitive so they didn't have to replace all the freon and it cost less than cited. I mean, it wasn't cheap and budgeting shall commence, but was ~$200 cheaper. I will happily take that.

This is good as I have an appointment this afternoon that is going to cost me roughly the same amount I saved. Balance, y'all. It's a thing.

In other news, I'm having a complicated timeallowing myself some grace and space when it comes to mental health stuff. I've been working my ass off about it all for ~20 years. I have my checklists, I have my coping skills, I have my clinical support system, and I am just tripping on every goddamn stair right now. And I AM doing what I can when I can - logging the damn adulthood shit regularly - but I'm just having a lot of hard time slogging through the everyday. And there's just so much all the time.

So, in honor of that, I think I'm going to give myself three actionable goals that will give me a little more grace and space:

1. Reschedule my OB intake exam. It's at the end of July and I just don't have it in me to care about this this summer. I have nothing emergant, so it should be fine.
2. Stay home over Thanksgiving. I'm really tired and would like to do some local things instead.
3. Finally schedule someone to come professionally clean my house. I keep putting it off because all I can do is stare at the stuff I need to move/tidy before they can come, but idk. Maybe it's just time to chunk out the $$ and let someone go to town.

And I know some of this is that I've not really been more social. I'm not walking as much or going out or doing things, but I just don't have the energy or interest right now. Like, y'all I'm barely reading books. And I know, I know, depression/mental health crisis pushes you to make your life smaller, etc. I know. But I am giving myself the grace and space to not be MAD at myself about all that right now.

Plus, my therapists are keeping an eye, so. SIGH.

It likely does not help that my stupid lungs are MAD AS HELL about the air quality changes and the wildfire pollutants currently circulating around the city. Breathing hurts, man. It sucks to have a woodsmoke allergy in all of this.

Blergh, adulthood is expensive.

Jun. 9th, 2025 11:59 am
aj: (blinded)
[personal profile] aj
I've known something has been up with my car's blower system since last year, but have done the cheaper fixes up until now. UNfortunately, summer is wandering in full-bore with its sticky, humid weather. And look. I am a goddamn delicate flower. I went most of my childhood and early adulthood and ALL of my adult working life in places without decent temperature regulation. All I have to show for it is a predisposition to heat exhaustion and dehydration.

I can and HAVE dealt with shittily hot weather my whole life, but the one area where I am not a massive 'do our part to help the environment' hippie rah-rah lady is when it comes to AC in the summer in areas where I pay the bills.

All this to say, I'm gonna go spend $500 to get my blower and AC fixed in my car tomorrow because WE ARE NOT DOING SUMMER WITHOUT IT. I mean, at least this car has cloth seats and not leather because I don't want to do THAT again, but still!

Anywho, shockingly, I've had this car for almost a decade and it's still cheerfully doing its thing. We'll find out how much they're going to make fun of me for not driving my car enough some time tomorrow.

Extra upside: tomorrow's day 2 of street cleaning, so I can just go drop the damn car in the shop lot and not have to try and find a new parking spot. \o/

Respect to The Mother.

Jun. 6th, 2025 04:13 pm
aj: (mysterious)
[personal profile] aj
When she was my age, she was dragging me around Chicagoland giving me cultural experiences on weekends. I occasionally do a reflection on how much cultured shit I did as a younger person and am deeply impressed with all the art and cultural experiences I had. For real, I went to so many theater productions and museums and exhibits!

Hell, we were members at pretty much every major museum in Chicago (bar MoCA) and I have seen so much art. Especially for someone who kinda hates art.

It's to the point where I've mostly run out of cultural experiences around Chicago? Like, yes, new events and exhibits exist, but if you hand me a list of "things to do in Chicagoland!!!", there are like, maybe five I've not done at least once?

And when I was a kid, I legitimately hated getting dragged around as much as I did. I wanted to stay home and watch tv/read a book. And I am 100% glad mom took me to all those events and educational things because I can now, as a grown adult, stay home and watch tv/read a book with the full smugness of someone who's Done That Shit At Least Once.

Though, I really do want to try the Lao restaurant that opened down the street from me. I have not actually tried Laotian food, so my goals for the summer are as follows:

1. Eat at the Lao place.
2. Jim Shoe sandwich.
3. Akutagawa at the Fullerton Restaurant.
4. Bone-in Porkchop sandwich at Jim's Original up on Western.
5. Beach.
6. MoCA? Maybe?

June.

Jun. 6th, 2025 12:16 pm
aj: (light)
[personal profile] aj
I have four things that I want to accomplish this weekend.

1. Regular errands (laundry, buying cat food, house chores)
2. Buy herbs and potting soil (parsley, basil, mint)
3. Plant herbs and re-pot some of the sanseveria.
4. Pick up my book from the library!

Note: I cleared out the planters! I did not obtain plant matter, but I am now ready!

I kind of want to go to a farmer's market, but my local one isn't till next week, so. *shrug emoji* Still, I need to get the herbs in so that I can make some salads. I have chives (bless them) and green onions already, but alliums are hearty boys and I think we're finally in the warmer weather enough to get the more delicate ones in.

The sanseveria repotting is desperately needed both at home and at work. I'm not sure my work plants even have dirt left in their pots at this point. I feel vaguely bad at how poorly I treat them, but omfg they need to stop growing, dammit.

I'm also off to experience something I haven't done in years! Namely, pick up a book I put on hold through CPL. Now, I am Ms. Library Power User, but I rarely use my local branch. Partially because I remain angry at its stupid design, but also because I am a lazy person who's lazy and I usually just order stuff delivered to my desk. HOWEVER, due to the weird state of audiobooks (app-based purchasing is rage-inducing for me, personally) I've been trying to check out and request books on CD as much as I can. AND, in a weird twist of something, CPL owns one of the only books on CD of a history the rice of micro-brewing. I tried to ILL it, but it's so limitedly owned, it was easier just to put it on hold at the branch three blocks from my house. Anywho, excited to listen to a book on the history of how microbrewing came back into popularity! Because lbr, people been microbrewing beer since it was invented.

I'm also very proud of myself that I've returned everything that I ordered through ILL in the last couple months. All my cds, books, and dvds are checked in and off my record. The last one I have is a book for my book club that I have yet to start. Whomp, whomp. I have been awful at actually finishing book club books this year.

Note: I also really am craving Taiwanese beef noodle soup, but not sure I want to trek out to Schaumburg for the one I like. I probably should as the place I like to buy rice is out that way, but. UUUUGH, DRIVING.

Bullet points.

Jun. 4th, 2025 08:23 pm
aj: (seasonal)
[personal profile] aj
1. Steroid injections to the hand are beautiful things when they reduce chronic pain by 85% in under two days.

2. I feel like I have not read much this year. Only 9 full books so far. That said, I have reread one doorstop-length fanfic three times in the last two months, and that is just ONE. Overall I am fine with where I am.

3. Summer creeps ever closer. But, after a full day of overcast rainy weather, the clouds cleared tonight and the sunset was a stunner.

4. I had a pizza puff for the first time yesterday and I am both impressed and mildly glad I had not tried one before because I would have eaten nothing else between the ages of 12 and 17. I am working my way through the remaining iconic Chicago foods from Monica Eng’s book from last year, Made in Chicago. I think I only have a handful left and the ones that come to mind are taffy grapes. Which are green grapes dipped in vanilla frosting. I love Chicago.

5. My new summer hat is very cute.

Update: I have three iconic foods I'm willing to eat left over: Akutagawa, a bone-in porkchop sandwich, and a Jim Shoe. Iconic foods summer?

Weekend plans.

May. 30th, 2025 12:11 pm
aj: (caffeine)
[personal profile] aj
Apparently, there's a hot dog festival not that far from my house this weekend. I'll see how the tummy is, but I'm interested in going. If just because I've been craving pierogi. Which, although the vendor list does not include Pierogi House or Pierogi World, there is a higher chance of those tents being there than there is of me walking over.

Hard reminder: I prefer my pierogi with BOTH apple sauce AND sour cream. Because I'm a gluttonous heathen, apparently. It's also how I prefer to sauce my latkes and other potato pancakes.

I also absolutely have to do a bunch of laundry this weekend. Wink's health is... well. She's lost a lot of weight and there are a bunch of rugs that need to get washed because she's been horking stuff up.

I've upped my brushing game and am transitioning her over to kitten food to see if I can fatten her up a bit. That said, I know that she's winding down. She's currently fine! But I can see that turning hard in the near future. Her 8th gotcha day is July 17 and she was ~7/8 when I got her. Girl is in great shape for a 15/16yo lady, but despite good bloodwork ($600 worth of it), it's clear there's a change in her coat and/or musculature.

I'm sad, but so grateful to this cat. She remains an absolute sweetheart and is one of the social and sweet cats (to humans) I've ever been around. She and Tea have been an absolute bulwark of mental health support for me over the last decade and I will miss her like crazy. But! She's still here and face-butting me for snacks, so I'm not going to borrow trouble. Just feed her lots of snacks that I inevitably have to wash rugs to clean up.

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