dirty words

I remember college, and planning parties and events, and that's probably why, whenever I feel a prolonged sense of stress-lag, I wonder "Shouldn't the DJ be here by now? And where are all the raver kids?"

I'm covering two additional regions besides mine this week and part of next, which has involved getting to work at 6:30 and being late on everything throughout the day. Not having any money until my next paycheck involves taking the train, and not driving to work, which I would normally do to console myself for early morning overtime. I really actually enjoy the rush of extra work and deadlines and a little bit of crazy, though I would prefer it if there were a few more "Thanks for doing this so quickly! You rock!" emails, instead of the "Where is this other thing!?!??" and "How did you not guess I would want this entire spreadsheet in yellow!?"

A man in my office who is slated to make -- literally -- ten times what I make this year told me yesterday that I make "good money," which made me feel like I'm a bit of a loser for not being able to buy groceries until paycheck (Friday! Friday!). But! Today he told me that he personally asked a bunch of people (who aren't, unfortunately, in charge of that) to pay me more. How nice of him! It's a shame it won't work. He said, "Look, when they downsize this other position [which is currently paid more than me], maybe you can get them to give part of that job to you and pay you a little more!" and I thought I shouldn't spoil the surprise that the company will actually give me that whole job on top of mine and not pay me any more, and then give me Stern Memos About Overtime Usage. But! I have a job!

I love my life. Love. I really do. Even when my job is a little over the top, everything is colored in these happy shades of me being so in love with my boyfriend. I am frustrated by my inability to make his life perfect, but he likes my cooking, so that's almost the same thing, right? And my apartment flooded a bit last weekend, but that gave me the perfect excuse to steam-clean my carpets and then -- this part was unrelated to the flooding -- reorganize all my yarn and fabric into small stacking clear plastic bins. HEAVEN.

I'm not sure if this post was supposed to mean something or not. I think I was going to apologize for being so unavailable this week? I come home at night and just pray there's a new Supernanny or something on Hulu, so that I can go "Well, at least I'm not screwing up ten children and then airing their dirty laundry on national TV," because that makes me feel better about things like being within a quarter-ream of the whole office being entirely out of paper (!!!!) before the supply order came today. Really, I'm just an approval-needy administrator with substandard personal financial planning, a wildly unnatural love of unnecessarily complex excel spreadsheets, and a bruised heel from going for a run in worn out flip-flops, and a bit of tired punchiness. And what's so bad about that?

Oh my. froggoddess? You bought your house just under the wire, girl. Good job.

It appears Countrywide (a major lender) is going bankrupt, so now first-time homebuyers must have a 700 credit score to get a loan, and everyone in my office has literally been screaming at each other (literal. screaming.) for almost an hour.

Apparently a real estate office with an on-site lender is not the best place to be when this news breaks.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Edit: Hold the panic. After lots of flailing, I finally turned to the internet and learned that they are actually not bankrupt yet, because they just borrowed over eleven billion dollars to stay afloat. Woo! So yeah. Meet me back here for this post in a few weeks. :-/

( My New Bumper Sticker )

In other news, the next person who says "Hey, Saaaaachi..." in my office might seriously get SLAPPED. I have lost all zen this week. Don't ask me where it went. GONE. If you have ever wanted me to rage on a topic in an uncensored manner? NOW IS THE TIME.

(Alternately, if you would like me to teach you how the photocopier works again? You hit. The start. BUTTON! NOW IS NOT THE TIME.)

An appraiser calls me on the phone:

appraiser: "Hey, do you need appointments for appraisals?"
me: "Yes, we need to set up all appointments in advance."
appraiser: "Oh, well if you need advance notice, I'd like to set up an appointment for ten minutes from now."
me: "..."

Also, if you ever wondered why I'm so incredibly weird (and the "formative childhood years spent in a pseudo-cult" wasn't a good enough reason), this is what my dad was doing for a living when I was an impressionable preschooler. It's probably not clear from the video clips, so I'll explain: he used to write and tour these shows that were part classical piano concerts and part stand-up comedy -- sort of the poor man's Canadian Victor Borge. I think this was just after the phase of the existentialist performance-art videos, and just before the aforementioned pseudo-cult. I love my family. Nobody's family is as cool as mine. I'm the black sheep because I have a 9-5 job with benefits and wear nylons. :)

For the record -- I've been MIA from the intarweb for a lot of reasons (work = insane, sister = having a nervous breakdown, boyfriend = twice my age yet totally awesome, world of warcraft = downloaded). Please to comment if anything of magnitude has occurred in the past week or two!

THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME:

1) Star Trek: Voyager, season 6! After the season premiere OF HOLY RAGE, it has been an entire season of gleee! I don't get it. Happy pills in the replicators? Don't know! Don't care! Photonic fleas! Am happy!

2) OMG, angel_grace sent me Jake 2.0 DVDs!!! OMG! WITH COVERS! OMG. I have been waiting for this moment for yeeeeeears. Jake 2.0 for my very own forever omg yay! This gleee is shared with the rest of my household, because now we can delete the series off our DVR and start recording Golden Girls again.

3) Good things are happening to my friends. This pleases me.

4) I spent my afternoon averting disaster with difficult buyers and charmed them to death, by alternating my "hee hee! I am a harmless secretary!" voice with my "MWAHAHA, revel in all the things I know about COMMON AIR SHAFTS and DAMPERS and FEATHERING CONCRETE!" Yes, there was rocking, and I think it's all due to this cat macro that is my computer background. (My job? Deals a lot with buyer walk-through inspections. A LOT. Every day, someone says this to me. Well, pretty much.)

5) I have a sekrit nefarious fandom plan that is SEKRIT and NEFARIOUS and making me very happy. But I can't implement it until I finish real estate school. The joy, however, continues.

6) Did I mention that Voyager is full of silly Happy Voyager-ish joy lately? Because it totally is!

Too tired to watch new 'lantis! Save for weekend, yay.

Okay, so work is kind of a timewaster today, because everyone is watching March Madness or crawling out of their Portlandy moleholes to experience Real Live Actual Sun. However, it's been pretty entertaining so far:

1) My coworkers were literally running around in circles earlier watching gamecast and yelling "WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON WITH OHIO STATE!?" Literal circles. Men in suits. Love eet.

2) A man walked in to look at condos, and is all, "My name is Alrick," and coworker C is all "Alrick? That's a new one for me..." and I am all "I AM FOR YOU, ALRICK OF VAULT!" Except maybe that last part wasn't out loud.

3) So last night, right? Season 5 started airing on Spike TV. To refresh your memory, the beginning of Season 5 was the time when Everyone Goes Freaking Bonkers, except Chakotay, who is running around trying to keep people from jumping off bridges and stuff. So to compensate, today I wrote Voyager fluff.

( Tautology )

1) princess_philo posted this ridiculously awesome cabled knit handbag pattern that I plan to rip off, like, as soon as I can get myself to a craft store and buy some handles. So kewt!!

2) A little gold link chain fell off one of our display easels and I have been playing with it nonstop for two days, and it is still amusing me. Eventually it will become a handle for a fancy dress handbag, I think, but for now, I am a science experiment to one of my coworkers, who has no idea how a child, let alone an adult, could be amused by a bit of metal string for hours on end.

3) JAKE 2.0. OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! I love this show so hard! Jake/Diane/nanites OTP FOREVAR!!! :) *deep breath* I squeed myself into asphyxia last night over the Jake 2.0 minimarathon on scifi, I swear. That episode with the friend's wedding in Seattle? Has 'shippiness that rivals Lois & Clark, I swear. FANDOM MUST NOW COMMENCE.

Things that are not awesome, FYI: Scary realtors calling and freaking out at me over the phone. WTF, people, with your entitlement issues. *freaks out with fear* I am sending whammy vibes at this woman that she decides not to bring her clients by later as threatened.

The Oregon governor also-ran from this past election is totally writing up a contract ten feet from my desk! We all kinda squinted at him when he came in all, we've seen you before, and he was all, probably from all the campaigns on teevee [where people slung mud and such], and we were all, ooooh! Because it is rare people crawl out of the teevee and buy condos from us.

And Gabe Kapler is retiring, which isn't actually political at all. GAAAAAAAAAAABE!

Nothing else of interest happened today.

So I was totally going to post a flail-y post from work all "omg I am still sick and I am scared of humans and there is too much work and I want to hide and die for am failure at life!", but then decided to try to manifest some joy instead!

Items of unexpected joy so far include:

Item 1: The developer made the construction general supervisor give me my VERY OWN VOLTAGE DETECTOR! It lights up and makes sounds and looks like a giant pen and EVERYONE IS JEALOUS.

Item 2: a_linz wrote some really cute CSI fic that I read before work for my new shameful pairing of fluff! (Nick/Sara. SHUT UP.) Scroll down to the very bottom for some vignettes of randomness and cute and then join my support group omg.

Item 3: I can print from my work computer now. Real printing! And SCANNING!

Thus far, the militant campaign of gleee has been most successful! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to provide me with MORE JOY! Comment-spam, comment-ficlets, haiku, pictures of furry animals, random bits of gleee from your own day, mentions of nonsensical things you like...

Please? :)

OMG, I fail at life and cling to LJ.

Okay, I really don't. But this is my second day off work now, and I swore to them I'd be in today (such that they cancelled the temp because they trusted me!), and I know I can't help it Because I Am Sick With Freaky Illness BUT THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT.

( same flailing, different day )

Okay, maybe I've just successfully reassured myself. *staples self to job* NOT QUITTING. (I'm putting that up on the wall next to the big sign that says "SACHI, DON'T SCREW WITH YOUR BRAIN MEDS".)