dirty words

Napping in a shoebox: Further evidence my dog is actually a cat.

I woke up this morning: My house is COVERED in blood. Drapes, bedding, floor, ceiling, all the carpets, furniture... I'm actually finding it in the computer keys as I type. My dog tore the tip of her ear on something -- probably her own claw, I'm betting -- and then all hell sort of broke loose.

I managed to stop the bleeding with flour, confine her with a chew toy so she doesn't aggravate it, and shower the worst of it out of my hair.

Quick question, because I need to go to work: Say in all this mess I got dog blood in my eyes and mouth. Is this bad? Do I call a vet? A human doctor?

Edit: Called vet to ensure that dog is not going to bleed out. They say she might need a suture but we can wait and see if the bleeding stays stopped as long as she has energy and isn't showing signs of imminent death. However, the Crazy Chinese Dog Disease is very transmissible to humans via blood, apparently. The internet disagrees on that front and says it can only be contracted directly by a tick, but I should probably listen to the licensed medical professional who says "Um, your dog scratched open wounds in your hands and you were covered in parasite-filled dog blood? CALL YOUR DOCTOR."

Edit2: Doctor sez: "URGENT CARE 4 U!" I says, "I'm at work! Will my eyes explode if I wait until tonight?" He says, "Prolly not, no." So anyway, I'm sure this is all no big deal, but I'll go in tonight and hopefully they'll stick me on some preventative antiparasite stuff or whatever and then I can go BLEACH EVERYTHING I OWN.

... even when you have the day off. (Realty TV will now be airing on Tuesdays-Saturdays.)

I have failed to anally probe my dog for temperature readings. I have to go to the vet's office to get her some ear-cleaning goo, so I'll ask them about ear-thermometers for dogs or magical fairy dust or something since the vet called me to insist that the dog's temperature has to be monitored at home to ensure she does not spontaneously combust.

The preliminary blood results are in. Her antibodies are "out of control" and she's got some anemia thing they think is related to chronic illness (how can they tell?). They're sending it all to someone smarter for further analysis. :-/ She seems pretty healthy today, though. (I'm a little stressed, and having all kinds of asthmatic doom which makes me want to flail all melodramatically about how I faaaail galactically at life. I've hit my own ignore button.)

Okay, forget today. I took a break mid-post and went to Sonic with my sister and the nerdiest Star Trek fanboy to come out of okcupid (and that's saying something), and then I pwnzed him at Star Trek trivia which makes makes me sound a lot less cool than I actually am. WHATEVER! NEXT MONTH!

[Poll #1072138]

Feel free to suggest novels, sweaters, or other forms of monthlong silliness below!

First: VERY IMPORTANT FANDOM PIMPAGE. I don't fangirl, like, anything cool, like Heroes, Supernatural, Firefly, Harry Potter, Numb3rs, Prison Break, but YOU all do, so you really need to go participate in thekatebeyond's Multifandom Family Ficathon! You only need to write 500 words, and it's incest-free! Go sign up, so I'm less of a useless friend for not watching enough television!

Back to dogness. So last night, right? We're still all sitting around, the sister and I, trying to come up with a name for the International Wonder Doggie, since sister is now "over" Tessie. As always, we turn to TV. We try "Cupcake! Cuuupcaaaaake!" after Pixie's pit bull on LA Ink, and then Gira decides on "Rocket Dog" from Meerkat Manor (our favoritest show in the universe these days, omg).

I think this will be one of those things where no matter what her actual name is, Gira will call her "Rocket Dog" for all time. (She called Angel "Spartacus" for 10 years or so. Angel was actually quite scared of Gira most of the time, but it's not clear whether the nickname had anything to do with it.)

Our little Rocket Dog:



Also, a picture of my hair, all repaired from the bloo incident:

( and a bonus flamingo! )

ZOMG, we really have dog!

Sister and I are still arguing a bit about her name. I really like "Tessie" for a dog, and I think I'm getting use to it for her, but I'm not absolutely positive it's the right name, though the Red Sox do seem to be winning an awful lot. Gira really likes "Shanti," the Sanskrit word for 'peace,' which might be a nice word to apply to our skittish little doglette, but I don't know if it sounds too much like "Sachi." Pretend my journal is like one of those baby name communities ("zomg, I r totally going to name my kid Harry Potter Jones! You like eet?"). Vote your choice!

( photgraphic proof below! )