my joy sadhana is so linkable

[mylittleredgirl]

5 good things about today:

1. I want to have yousendit.com's babies right now, a lot. I can now spam music illegally at people and be illegally spammed more easily! daygloparker wins for exposing me to this.

2. shewaselectric made me an icon!! Just for me! And I'm not entirely sure what it says because I am blind, but people are wet and very hot in it and that gives me joy. And lyssie wrote amusing ficlet for me too, involving a magic 8-ball! I am so karmically indebted, meme-wise.

3. Had the following conversation with father today:

Dad: I need to go to town on an errand. You need to follow me in your car just in case.
Me: Um. Okay. Where?
Dad: You know Joe? Under the bridge?
Me: This sounds... untoward.
Dad: You know... for inspection, he pastede on my car door.
Me: Yay?

Blowtorch Joe really does exist and his garage really is under a bridge, and the sign is a piece of plywood with "JOE" and a phone number handpainted on it, in case you were wondering. Anecdotes from my county.

4. At work I met a very cool professor of Sanskrit who called my name pretty (and pronounced it way better than I can!) and broke it down for me to try and figure out what it means :) Apparently, it's linguistically related to truth (satya), but it also has something to do with creativity and... a word that isn't excellence, but starts with an a and is a good thing. Aspiration? A... something. Brain like seive, but my name is still a good thing. Yay!

5. John/Lizzie porn all over the place upon my return home -- pixiesio writes fic with a holiday title but it is not holiday-themed, except for where I say "hallelujah!" for this fic and jemster makes them do it in a puddle jumper but good.


3 things I did well:

1. At work, helped a bunch of awesome people find lots of random crazy stuff.

2. Got self to chiropractor.

3. Wrote out calendar of appointments for the rest of the week.


I think it's seeming stranger and stranger to be writing this livejournal full of occasionally porny fanfic and fandom ridiculousness read by my friends and relations (and to inflict the this-is-my-random-life parts on the people who are probably only here for the occasional handouts of porn and fic). Probably because I so rarely see so many of you, and that means you can't mock me in person! :) I trust that all you Kappas and Kripaluites and Toronto folk can skip anything that will make you embarrassed to know me... or forgive me, at least :) If I can wrap my brain around a way to properly filter this or separate my journals or something that doesn't make me go "You are way fucking overthinking this, Sachi, everyone knows you're a scary geek", then maybe I will do. Er... make suggestions if you care or tell me to get over myself. *shrugs*

Unifying my disparate images seemed really, really important and like a fabulous idea when I started this thing... I just worry that I'm annoying people a lot.

-- Little Red

p.s. The Rhode Island state flag is really cool. I want to go back to my little state now.

Comments

[alliesings.livejournal.com]

I have similar thoughts about the seeming randomness of what pops up in my journal every time a RL person is told about it. I also mentally thwapped myself when I forgot to somehow filter my Hot!PG fic. So what that it was PG, I still didn't think it was what my former students were looking for when they asked for my LJ name.

everyone knows you're a scary geek

It's fun to have friends with whom I have this trait in common ;)

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

I also mentally thwapped myself when I forgot to somehow filter my Hot!PG fic.

I was doing that, and then sometimes people would go all "I want to rec you, but you keep locking everything!" And since I really never thought *that* would happen, now I have even the porn unlocked. Eep!

So what that it was PG, I still didn't think it was what my former students were looking for when they asked for my LJ name.

Hee! No, probably not! I am fortunate to have a collection of friends who are all geeky in one way or another. For a while I had this idea that I shouldn't do anything that the people I love couldn't know about -- which meant that I be careful about what I do, but seems to really mean more about *who* my friends are. Fortunately, I am blessed to be born into an amazingly understanding immediate family and have lots of reciprocal blackmail information on my friends ;)

[alliesings.livejournal.com]

Leaving fic unlocked does make sense. As annoyed as I am when I click a broken link, I guess I can't argue with that logic. Although if it's worth reading, I usually try to post to ff.net so it is somewhere more public.

I have this philosophy and it boils down to something like: I'll be friends with all kinds of geeks and nuts. As long as they ljcut their smut so I don't have to read it, we can be friends. I won't write stuff that I think is really wrong, but there is stuff that I'd write about that I wouldn't do myself. I mean, I wouldn't go to the mall in jeans, but I'm not going to attempt to write Sam according to my personal dress code. I know there's a world out there, but I live in a very small, happy reality.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

As long as they ljcut their smut so I don't have to read it, we can be friends.

Hi friends! Yes, you're not supposed to post smut on ff.net either, although it's pretty easy to re-label it as R instead of NC-17 and post it there. I do have a website which I really, really need to update, so I could do like Julie and Elly do and just link to my website... but livejournal is so *easy* and I feel better about posting stuff that's unpolished or I'm not sure is worth archiving (yet worth posting for friends).

I wouldn't go to the mall in jeans, but I'm not going to attempt to write Sam according to my personal dress code. I know there's a world out there, but I live in a very small, happy reality.

Er... my brain is translating this to mean that going to the mall in jeans is somehow immoral, as this is in the context of smut. I... what do you mean?

I also live in a small happy reality!! I bring my little bubble of red-coloured gleee with me everywhere.

... I am suddenly very, very aware of how many of my icons are promiscuity related. Er... *picks safe one*

[alliesings.livejournal.com]

I feel better about posting stuff that's unpolished or I'm not sure is worth archiving (yet worth posting for friends).

Exactly. What are LJ friends for if not to subject them to writer's ramblings ;)

LOL at the jeans being immoral thing. I just chose the most extreme thing I could think of to use as an example. The point was that it's my personal preference not to wear pants in public (except when it's snowing or something), but it isn't a standard that I expect other people to understand. I don't make it my goal to make other people uncomfortable around me, or for you to be less than yourself. :D

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

LOL at the jeans being immoral thing.

*phew!* I was worried there for a second :) I would die of cold, I think (and am not entirely sure how you don't, but perhaps Pennsylvania -- I checked your user info -- is warmer than I think it is?).

I don't make it my goal to make other people uncomfortable around me, or for you to be less than yourself. :D

YAY! *hugs you* And I promise that I never go out of my way to make YOU feel uncomfortable around ME. I have a bit of a paranoia reflex from being raised in an alternative, ashram way and then being deposited in the local (small town, conservative, mostly-Catholic) public school system in the eighth grade! Back then I was worried that my lack of knowledge would end up in me always being told that I was damned (I think it takes until a certain age for kids to really get the loving Christian ideology!)... now I mostly worry that I will offend people through my lack of knowledge.

Plus, it fascinates me :) I want to send myself to Allie Camp for a few weeks and learn things!

[pixiesio.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks for the rec hon!

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I'm glad you don't mind :) I should have asked, but figured since you posted it to shep_n_weir it would be fine!

[pixiesio.livejournal.com]

Always happy when someone wants to push my stuff. ;)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I just... don't want to even consider my family reading my lj...

And. Bah. No fic-babies. That was so I had mental capacity yesterday afternoon.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

I just... don't want to even consider my family reading my lj...

You're not making me feel any better about this... :-P

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Maybe not, but something tells me (I hope) that your family is not scary!militant Christians who do not believe in sex as recreation or sex before marriage or non-Twu Wuv....

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

Well, my extended family is. They feel very bad for me and occasionally try to rescue my soul, since my evil heathen mother married someone who wasn't Christian and THEN moved to an ashram with IDOL WORSHIP!!

Although in the ashram, celibacy was a spiritual practice, so, there's that.

As far as accidentally reading pr0n I write goes... I have a bad bad feeling that my mom would be all "You know, this part... that doesn't sound realistic. I mean, it doesn't feel that way to me. Does it feel that way to you?"

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Aha. See, and I'd probably get a little tolerance for some things.

But, I would become a Corrupt Soul In Need of Saving for all the pr0n I write. Whether it was technically possible or not.

And there would be sadness and angst and lots of praying and saying of words and reminders of baptisms and bible verses and scripture readings and... I would become the black sheep of my family (and my brother used to hold that title...)

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

... wow. Perhaps it's better for all that they don't know, then! :)

It's really hard to be a black sheep in my immediate family full of black sheeps.

... or maybe not, actually, since I could just start voting Republican. My dad totally thought I was a closet Republican and staged an Intervention recently. I was amused.

Me: "... I'm actually a party-line democrat."
Him: "YOU'RE SO CONSERVATIVE!"
Me: "I think I just look that way because all our friends are lifelong yogi hippies and performance artists and communists."
Him: "Huh."

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

Yeah, well, I sometimes worry that they've read porn in my lj, but then, I guess they haven't, because I haven't received any worried emails. Or disapproving looks....

And. HAH! I could never be mistaken for a republican. Except when I start going on about the death penalty.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

Trust me, I'm at least kinda pink in *normal* circles.

It's all about the company you keep...

Maybe they've stumbled on your LJ, read the pr0n, worried for a bit and then thought "No, that couldn't be OUR daughter" and went on about their lives happy in the certainty that you are Just That Good.

[cleverocity.livejournal.com]

Your icon is great. It says "need you like nobody else." (My superpower is microscope-vision. I take nearsightedness to the max, baby!) Also, I especially like the bit what has 'J+E' in a wee heart.

Unifying my disparate images seemed really, really important and like a fabulous idea
Is a very good idea.
I had to write something for my communications class last week about how I believe different people who know me perceive me, and it made me think a lot about this. I feel like various people who know me would not recognize the "me" that other people know. It's weird, and I don't like it. I feel kind of fractured.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

It says "need you like nobody else."

Yay! That is so cool!!

... and now everyone knows that, since I lack your superpowerz, they can trick me into posting icons that say things that would be funny for me to say, or something. I have trouble with some people's LJ colour-schemes with pastels on top of pastels -- I keep having to cut and paste into microsoft word. I think it's more visual laziness than actual blindness, though. That, or something about my screen resolution! :)

I feel like various people who know me would not recognize the "me" that other people know.

Exactly. I felt like I had to be lying to *someone.* One of the things I like best about myself is my ability to adapt into groups and take on appropriate characteristics... but after a while I started wondering whether I was always faking it.

[noradannan.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Oooh! Your joy sadhana is so linkable that *my* friends have started doing it! *grin*

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

Eeeee! That is too cool!

I think if people ask my career I should start saying something like "instigator of gleee", because that's much more interesting than "retail."

[in-parentheses.livejournal.com]

What my friend Sara (who I'm pretty sure you've met) does is has two LJs - one for fic and other geekish pursuits, and one for her life. That way people can Friend either or both, depending on what interests them, and parents can be pawned off with the non-fic one.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

Yay! Sara! I remember her.

Fortunately, my parents aren't that net-literate. My sisters both have livejournals, and watch some of the same geeky shows, but it surprised me a lot to hear that they clicked on the fic links rather than just ignoring them. And they're forced to still love me and all, so I guess I'm more worried that Kappas will start being like "Sachi got all geeky and ANNOYING!"

two LJs - one for fic and other geekish pursuits, and one for her life.

That's a good idea. I was thinking of doing that, but I wasn't totally sure if that seemed really... I don't know, self-centered and strange to declare myself to now have two livejournals (especially since everyone already knows). Really, I think my problem was figuring out how to make the transition, which is further evidence that my brain is operating on a single cylinder... *eeps*